HarperCollins Publicity: Kate D’Esmond / Kate.D’Esmond@harpercollins.com


“Isay is the kind of person who reflects on her experiences with a keen understanding of their emotional dynamics. Unconditional Love, (her fourth book on family issues) is well researched, based on hundreds of interviews (as well as on her own life), and has great  lessons of the joys and pitfalls of grandparenting.”

– Cecilia M. Ford, PhD, Women’s Voices for Change

“Unconditional Love is the new bible for any grandparent looking for ways to support and connect with their children and grandchildren. In clear, compassionate prose, Isay is a wise guide through intergenerational ups and downs. Need to know what to say and when to zip it? How to help? Isay has the answers. I can’t wait to give it to my mother!”

– Rachel Simmons, author of Enough As She Is

Click here to read about the birth of the Grandparents Book Club


“A wise, brave, and gripping book about the stories families hide from one another, Secrets and Lies instructs us in the many important ways that even painful truths can set us free.”

—Judith Viorst, author of Necessary Losses

“This masterful and psychologically sophisticated book takes us into the heart of darkness, family secrets, and shows that they can and must be faced. Isay’s ideas are fresh, provocative and ultimately deeply healing. Her stories glitter with authenticity.”
—Mary Pipher, author of The Green Boat and Reviving Ophelia

“Who better to guide us through the anatomy of betrayal and its aftershocks than Isay, who has lived both sides of a public, family-shattering secret? Isay introduces us to a dazzling array of characters whose lives were fractured by painful revelations. Most important, she offers tough love advice about how to make sense of the unthinkable and move on. Anyone who has ever been harmed by a secret will find solace in Isay’s compassionate, laser-sharp storytelling.”
—Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out

“The truths that Jane Isay illustrates with compassion and delicacy about family relationships, ring true for communities and institutions as well: everyone involved is hurt by deceiving oneself and others, but truth can lead to healing.”
—Mary Catherine Bateson, author of Composing a Further Life: The Age of Active Wisdom

“Jane Isay has once again brought her unflinching honesty, searing insight and open heart to corners of family dynamics that most of us avoid. In Secrets and Lies Isay examines the tangled webs we weave and the pain they inflict on innocents who become ensnared. With wisdom and warmth, she reassures us that facing the truth is possible, and that the time to do it is now.”
—Dr. Ira Byock, physician and author of Dying Well, The Four Things That Matter Most, and The Best Care Possible

One to One CUNY Interview 

National Media

1/1/14: Publicity: Print–Vanity Fair Hot Type–Review – January–National (USA)

1/1/14: Publicity: Print–Psychology Today–Cover Feature–National (USA)

1/12/14: Publicity: Radio–2BoomerBabes Radio Hour–Interview–National (USA)

1/13/14: Publicity: Radio–Viewpoints Media Tracks–Interview–National (USA)

1/24/14: Publicity: Online–Huffington Post–Blog Post–National (USA)

2/6/14: Publicity: Print–Beyond 50–Interview–National (USA)

2/11/14: Publicity: Radio–AARP Radio–Interview–National (USA)

3/1/14: Publicity: Print–Reader’s Digest–Review–National (USA)

Local Media

1/8/14: Publicity: Radio–WAMC Round Table–Interview–NY – New York

1/8/14: Publicity: Radio–KWGS Radio Studio Tulsa–Interview–OK – Tulsa

1/9/14: Publicity: Radio–WCBQ-AM / WHNC-AM – Alvin Jones Show–Interview–DC – Washington, DC

1/15/14: Publicity: TV–One To One – CUNY TV–Interview–NY – New York

1/15/14: Publicity: Radio–WGVU Morning Show–Interview–MI – Grand Rapids

1/21/14: Publicity: Radio–Strategies For Living, KEEL Radio–Interview–LA – Louisiana

1/21/14: Publicity: Radio–It’s Your Health Radio–Interview–MA – Boston, MI – Michigan, WI – Wisconsin

1/22/14: Publicity: Radio–KUCI Writers On Writing–Interview–CA – California

1/22/14: Publicity: Radio–KYMN 15 With The Author–Interview–MN – Minnesota

1/24/14: Publicity: Radio–TAKE TWO, KPCC Radio–Interview–CA – Los Angeles

1/29/14: Publicity: Radio–THINK, KERA RADIO–Interview–TX – Dallas/Fort Worth



Jane Isay’s lively exploration of the sibling relationship in all of its complicated varieties is both incisive and benevolent, offering the reader new ways of understanding, repairing, and sometimes even transforming this profoundly important human connection
Judith Viorst

“Here is human understanding offered by a wise and thoughtful and clinically savvy writer who helps us take notice of how we get on with one another as boys and girls, brothers and sisters—a Tolstoyan observer, with keen intuition and a compelling command of the art of storytelling, helps us readers look back, look inward, and thereby understand how we become who we are.”
Robert Coles, M.D., professor of psychiatry and medical humanities at Harvard Medical School and author of the Pulitzer Prize-winning book series Children of Crisis

In Mom Still Likes You Best, Isay explores the unknown territory of adult sibling relationships—both the best and the worst of them. Her keen observations of adult brothers and sisters and her fresh and profound ideas about this terra incognita give readers an opportunity to laugh, cry, identify, and, ultimately, to love their siblings more deeply.
—Mary Pipher, PhD

On The Today Show

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Think: Listen Here

USA Today

Mom’s favoritism can affect kids, sibling rivalry as adults

There’s no denying it. In any household with more than one child, kids seem to naturally compete for their mother’s love and attention. And mothers swear they love every child equally. Read the rest of the story

Real Simple

10 Ways to Be Closer to Your Siblings

Everyone expects children to squabble. Remember the DEFCON 1–level tantrum you threw when your younger sister gave Barbie a Grace Jones flattop? But as we grow up, most of us hope to achieve détente or, better yet, a meaningful connection with our sisters and brothers. Unfortunately, that’s not always easy. Read the rest of the story


“A valuable road map for maintaining a loving relationship while coping with unreturned phone calls, requests for money, and a different set of values.”
AARP Magazine 

“[A] groundbreaking exploration of the ties between adult children and their parents.”
New York Times 

“A gentle guide for the perplexed.”
O Magazine 

“‘I’m relieved to know I’m not the only one’ will be the response to this much-needed guidebook.”
Library Journal, starred review 

“Her experience is an example of her most interesting discovery: children are quick to forgive and often the ones who take the initiative in forging a new brand of closeness between themselves and their parents.”
Publishers Weekly, starred review 

“Jane Isay shines a much-needed light on these years.”
—Po Bronson, author of What Should I Do With My Life 

“With Isay’s sage advice, we can make life with our adult children calmer, closer and more enjoyable.”
—Mary Pipher, author of Reviving Ophelia 

“Read it and learn!”
—Judith Viorst, author of I’m Too Young To Be Seventy: And Other Delusions 

“Jane Isay gives us a hope chest of hard-earned wisdom and a-ha moments, and a mirror in which we can safely examine ourselves and our families.”
—Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls 

“I know families; I’ve worked with thousands for over two decades. But I have yet to find a book about keeping families together, like this one.”
—Ron Taffel, Ph.D., author of The Second Family  

In USA Today

Adult kids and their parents: Handle with care

Isay, 67, says she realized she wasn’t alone in having difficulties relating to her grown sons. So she found 70 adults from their early 20s to their late 70s across the country to interview on the phone, as well as some face-to-face sessions in New York, California, Nebraska and Virginia.

The result, she tells USA TODAY’s Sharon Jayson, is a guide for new ways of relating for the rest of their lives. Read the  rest of the story


starred review:
As baby boomer parents age, they’re discovering the empty-nest syndrome is nothing compared to what happens when their kids graduate from college and start leading lives of their own. To a generation famous for being involved in every aspect of their children’s lives, it can be upsetting to find that those children no longer need or welcome your advice. How does one parent children who no longer need parenting? Publishing veteran Isay, an editor and mother of two grown sons, interviews scores of parents and adult children of all ages to see how they are doing it. The stories are heartwarming, and Isay recounts them with intelligence and compassion. What does she find? Nothing Ann Landers hasn’t already told us. Mainly: don’t give advice; make friends with your children’s significant others; and remember that love heals. The most compelling story is Isay’s own. One wishes it were the centerpiece of the book rather than tacked on as an epilogue. Her experience is an example of her most interesting discovery: children are quick to forgive and often the ones who take the initiative in forging a new brand of closeness between themselves and their parents—a closeness that is best described as adult.